Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe and is the number one presenting problem in couple’s counseling.The three most important qualities for effective communication are respect, openness and persistence. It requires both people to speak from the heart about what really matters to each. Effective communication means you need to pay attention to:

• Managing unruly emotions, such as anger that is too intense
• How you are communicating – whining, blaming, being vague, etc
• What you want from your partner during the discussion
• What the problem symbolizes to you
• The outcome you want from the discussion
• Your partner’s major concerns
• How you can help your partner become more responsive to you
• The beliefs and attitudes you have about the problem

No wonder good communication is difficult!  Thankfully, it is far from impossible. The key is in practicing and being mindful of your part in the dance.  Ultimately, we are each responsible for how we express ourselves.