Raising Children, Raising Ourselves

Raising Children, Raising Ourselves

No one makes it to adulthood unscathed. Virtually all of us were wounded as children. But if we don’t attend to those wounds, they will unknowingly prevent us from parenting and/or partnering from our best self.

Children have a knack for showing us our wounded places. As do our partners. That’s what makes them our “spiritual teachers.” For all of us, the task is to consciously examine our own scars so we don’t inflict new ones onto others.

When we get triggered and lose our cool, that doesn’t make us bad. It makes us human. Anger readies the body to fight. This reactive response is in our survival DNA. Learning how to manage it is our destiny.

The next time you want to scream, take five…long easy breaths. Shake the anger and try to see the absurdity of the situation. When dealing with kids that’s often easy. Their rational mind is simply not on line.

Focus on what matters and remember your child is a being-in-development – not a manipulative, emotional tyrant sucking the joy out of your life. That’s just their primitive strategy.

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