When it comes to behavioral learning, the heat of a moment is not a teachable one. Especially with kids. Your child’s already limited executive functioning isn’t on-line. He’ll be able to learn after everyone has calmed down and you’ll be able to teach a lot better.
Besides, no one wants to apologize on the battlefield and if you force them to, be prepared for it to stick in their throat. Most of us are more receptive to connect once our feelings have been heard. Kids are no different.
It’s hard. You’re frustrated and you want your kid to stop being a knucklehead. But kids are knuckleheads. You were, too, at one time and it didn’t feel good to get reprimanded then and it doesn’t feel good for them now.
This is one of the ways parenting is a spiritual endeavor. Come hell or high water, we must dig deep within ourselves. The same is true for any relationship. Kids just have a way of accelerating the process.