The Sacred Start

Our understanding of love has been hijacked and beguiled by its first distracting moving moments. We have allowed our love stories to end way too early. We seem to know far too much about how love starts, and recklessly little about how it might continue. p 15

Love means admiration for qualities in the lover that promise to correct our weaknesses and imbalances; love is a search for completion. p 17

Love is also, and equally, about weakness, about being touched by another’s fragilities and sorrow, especially when – as happens in the early days – we ourselves are in no danger of being held responsible for them. Seeing our lover despondent and in crisis, in tears and unable to cope, can reassure us that, for all their virtues, they are not alienatingly invincible. They, too, are at points confused and at sea, a realization which lends us a new supportive role, reduces our sense of shame about our own inadequacies, and draws us closer to them around a shared experience of pain. p 18

Excerpts from Alain de Bottom’s book The Course on Love:

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