Joy

As odd as it may sound, we truly can’t love others unless we first love ourselves. It’s a bit like math. The depth to which we connect with others correlates to the degree to which we love our selves.

Here in the states our Declaration of Independence guarantees “the pursuit of happiness,” yet messages abound that it’s located in the acquisition of goods, the quick fix of addiction or the high of achievement – to name a few.

We are born with this inner well-spring of positivity. It’s our innate source of growth and resiliency. The best part is that this active ingredient is endlessly renewed with continued use. That means, the more you seek out positive experiences the deeper your reservoir becomes.

It’s no secret. I hawk freedom for living. My “theory of change” revolves around the idea that we are stuck in habituated ways of being that are no longer serving our best selves.

It’s fair to say Americans are conflicted about positivity. Our Declaration of Independence guarantees “the pursuit of happiness” as one our core rights. Yet messages abound that our happiness is located everywhere but our core.

The cultivation of positivity is a practice and, at times, may seem too simplistic to be true. Rest assured this is not a “fake it till you make it” practice. It requires effort, but it will be worth your while. Try it out. Be your own experiment/experimenter.

Positivity is not about putting on a happy face. It’s about resilience. Positivity consists of a range of emotions from appreciation to love, amusement to joy, hope to gratitude, and then some.

Love is the micro-moment of warmth and connection that you share with another living being. It’s deeply wired and blossoms virtually anytime two or more people, even strangers, connect over a shared positive emotion – be it mild or strong.

Exploring how kindness and appreciation flow back and forth in couples, Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D, examined how people habitually express appreciation to their partners. Turns out some people say “thanks” better than others.

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues…