posted on 08-10-10 at 7:05 am in
Selfhood
Connect With The Kid In You
As a child, you were pure, wide-eyed and open to the world. Slowly, over time, you internalized both the positive and negative voices around you. As we get older, the negative voices echo the loudest. So your first step is to reconnect with the kid in you who felt confident early on. To do this, find a photo of yourself when you were young, preferably before the age of five. Stare at it, paying special attention to your eyes, your hands and your face. Notice the sweetness, the innocence. As you look at the picture, try to connect with love, kindness and reverence for that little being so present to life.
Keep this photo in view and take a moment every day to access your postive feelings about it. Before you know it, you’ll naturally start to soften that inner voice. When you catch yourself speaking harshly to yourself, conjure up that childhood image. Rephrase the harsh thought as you would speaking to that precious child. Notice how it softens your heart.
tags: inner critic
posted on 07-13-10 at 7:28 am in
Selfhood
Nothing about human life is simple. Our character styles, or ways of being, are influenced by many factors that are embodied, being shaped by, and in turn shaping the body structure.
Our character is like a set of clothes that we put on to protect us from the elements, to hide what is underneath, to give a certain impression to the world. And like the clothes we choose to wear in our lives, the attributes of character reflect something of the qualities of our essence. Granted, a sometimes one-dimensional expression of the fullness that is underneath.
Attachment experiences are part of what shapes our character. There are also influences from genetic makeup and biology, wider aspects of family and social life, and so on. Of course, each person is unique and will manifest this in his or her individual way.
As we move towards more Beingness we can more and more let go of the defensive aspects of character. False and deceptive manifestations dissolve when we face them and make new decisions about ourselves and the world. This requires mindfulness and maturity. Life experience gives us the opportunities to develop this maturity. Yet we need to bring our will to it.
The learnings and skills developed as parts of our character styles that are true to our essence can be absorbed into the greater ground of our Beingness, and continue to serve us and others. As a person living a human life we need our personality and its patterns to get along in the physical and social worlds we are part of. Nevertheless as we grow, we can let go of many unnecessary, limiting layers and also continue to transform and shape those human ‘characterlogical clothes’, to make them ever more compatible with our spiritual nature.
tags: personality
posted on 05-04-10 at 7:26 am in
Selfhood
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
~ Walt Whitman
Multiplicity
It is the nature of the human mind to be subdivided into parts. We all have them. We are born with them. Carl Jung referred to them as archetypes. Others refer to them as subpersonalities, aspects, thoughts or feelings. These can have specific ages, temperaments, talents, strengths and desires.
Parts exist from birth, either in potential or in actuality. All parts are valuable and want to play constructive inner roles. They came into being honestly (often as a response to the environment) and will gratefully return to preferred roles once they are reassured that it is safe to do so.
Polarization
Many past or current events can affect the balance and harmony of a person’s internal world. The most common of these influences include family attitudes and interactions, as well as traumatic experiences. Parts develop and take over to protect the Self by taking on burdens. When this happens the internal system gets out of whack and parts become polarized.
Thankfully even highly polarized systems can heal themselves in a safe, caring environment. One such place is in therapy where a compassionate therapist can help point the person back to their true Self.
tags: parts
posted on 12-21-09 at 7:22 am in
Selfhood
In The Four Agreements don Miguel Ruiz offers four deceptively simple principles to live by. Keeping these four agreements can be one of the hardest things you will ever do and one of the most life changing.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are unattached to the actions of others, you free yourself from suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, do your best and compassionately know this to be true.
tags: integrity
