Shame

Culture of Shame

My family recently had dinner at a casual place where you order and grab a seat. While waiting in line, our son started playing with the kid in front. They bonded immediately in a superhero battle and while finding a table, he insisted we sit […]

“I suffer with depression.”

This nineteen year old kid blew me way with his courage and honesty. So good. Depression

You’re So Emotional!

Emotions are necessary – even when they’re uncomfortable or socially inappropriate – because they are a part of your psyche, a part of your neural network, a part of your socialization, and a part of your humanity. Emotions aren’t the enemy, but they have come […]

Tail-Chasing

Imagine a dog chasing his own tail, reaching a point of severe exhaustion, but still pressing round in tight little circles. The more frustrated he gets, the faster he tries to run and the faster he tries to run, the more frustrated he gets. But […]

Fuel for Anxiety

Cognitive psychologists have found that the process of identifying and disputing irrational thoughts is a very effective way to short-circuit the anxiety cycle so we can regain our equilibrium, think more clearly, and feel a lot better. So the next time you’re feeling anxious, walk […]

Shame in Couples Therapy

Shame plays a powerful role in distorting identity as it’s concerned with being defective, feeling overexposed or lacking worth in the eyes of others.  As we can imagine, shame also is a critical barrier to intimacy in couples. The aversive nature of shame leads some […]

Wired for Connection

We are wired for connection. It’s in our biology. The infant comes into the world with needs and getting the needs met is the source of survival.  As we grow older, our needs for connection naturally become more sophisticated but the need remains the same. It […]

Listening to Shame

Back in November 2011 I posted a link to Brené Brown’s excellent TEDtalk on “The Power of Vulnerability.” Since then she has given a second TEDtalk called “Listening to Shame” that is equally courageous and heartfelt.  

Shame: The Alienating Affect

Shame is something we all experience.  The struggle to feel accepted and worthy is unrelenting. The most effect way to overcome these feelings of inadequacy is to break the silence and share our experiences. I welcome your comments as we explore the many facets of shame […]

The Power of Vulnerability

The Power of Vulnerability

I cannot recommend this amazing lecture by Brené Brown enough. Weaving humor, insight and compassion she speaks bravely about the power of vulnerability.