In a perfect world, we’d all have positive role models for relational guidance. Couples counseling is the next best thing. Instead of pulling from the past learning, you and your partner create new ideal together. Being in a relationship can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in life. But when it isn’t, the stress is a kill joy. If you’re like most couples, your issues stem from holding on to a way of being together that is no longer working. Which is frustrating for both. That’s where I come in, sharing the winning strategies that will get you back in harmony.
Couples counseling is a safe space to slow down and notice. As a result, there is freedom to choose a better response. In other words, increased awareness lowers reactivity. Traditional ways of responding tend to occur outside of awareness. To show up and let another witness this process takes great courage. I take this to heart and respect the honor of being allowed into your private world.
The bravest among us will always be the most broken hearted because we had the courage to love. ~Brené Brown
The dirty little secret of being human is that we never stop needing each other. Healthy relational attachments are a basic human need. They begin in early childhood and continue to evolve throughout our lives. Why is that a “dirty secret?” Because in our need for human relationships, we are endlessly seeking healing of early “attachment injuries.” This usually occurs out of our awareness. In other words, the question, “Does this make me look fat?” is never about the clothing. It’s a bid for connection. A request for validation. A plea for love.
Couples counseling provides a safe environment to explore the clumsy and often misguided ways we look to our partners to heal us. It takes courage to be vulnerable. It’s about showing up and being seen when you can’t control the outcome. It’s involves uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Ultimately, it’s about building trust, intimacy and connection and learning how to show up and be seen.