The aversive nature of shame leads some folks to disown parts of themselves, leaving them susceptible to projecting these parts onto their partner and then devaluing their partner as they once were devalued.

Attacking or criticizing a partner can also be defenses to protect against awareness of normal longings for validation that were unmet and then experienced as inherently bad.

Sometimes the work of couples therapy is to distinguish and name what is being experienced and acted out.  Anxiety, for example, signals danger whereas shame signals that one is not accepted.  While both are threatening, it is important to understand the motibvation behind the behavior as to better deal with hurt.

In tantric practice we experience the divine in everything we do. A reverential attitude is therefore cultivated, encouraging a ritualistic approach to life. It is amusing to not that, although tantra has become associated exclusively with sexual ritual, most tantric schools actually recommend a celibate lifestyle.

In essence, tantra is the most esoteric of the six major branches. It will appeal to those yogis who enjoy ceremony and relate to the feminine principle of the cosmos which yogis call shakti.  If you see and are deeply moved by the significance behind celebration and ritual (holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other rites of passage), tantra yoga may be for you.

Many tantric yogis find magic in all types of ceremony, lending a richness to their life and relationships. This could be a Japanese tea ceremony, taking of the Eucharist ro the consummation of a relationship.

There are as many ways to make a green smoothie and they’re all fantastic.  Green smoothies are a delicious way to get an extra boost of cleansing nutrients and a great way to start your day. Use your imagination.  Let the following recipe be a guide to finding your own personal creation.

Option #1:
2 cups spinach or handful of kale (stems removed)
1 cup milk (soy, almond, cow, coconut, etc)
1 medjool date (or 1 T honey/agave)
10 frozen strawberries

Option #2:
1 frozen banana
2 cups spinach or small handful kale (stems removed)
1 whole apple (seeds removed)

1. Blend ingredients, preferably in a Vitamix but any blender will do the trick. If you prefer a thinner smoothie substitute more juice for fruit, such a 1 cup apple juice for an apple. Likewise, if you’d like a thicker smoothie substitute 1 cup silken tofu for soymilk.
2. Enjoy.

Shame unravels are connection with others. It keeps us from sharing our pain and from hearing the suffering of others.  In a word, it isolates.

Practicing compassion allows us to hear shame. Empathy, the most powerful tool of compassion, is an emotional skill that allows us to respond to others in a meaningful, caring way. Likewise, when we share a difficult experience with someone and that person responds with an open heart we lift the silence and heal the pain of unbearable aloneness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0&feature=player_embedded

7 cups great-tasting vegetable broth
2 or 3 pinches crushed red pepper flakes
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 cup  couscous
1 1/2 cups broccoli florets, cut into tiny pieces
1 1/2 cups cauliflower florets, cut into tiny pieces
4 oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, chopped (optional)
4 green onions, trimmed and thinly sliced
an ounce or two of goat cheese (optional)

1. In a large pot heat the broth, red pepper flakes, and olive oil. When it comes to a boil remove the pot from the heat and stir in the couscous. Wait two minutes and stir in the broccoli and cauliflower. Wait another two minutes – just long enough for the vegetables to loose their raw edge, and ladle into bowls.
2. Top each bowl with some sun-dried tomatoes, green onions, and a bit of goat cheese.

Serves 4-6.

Bhakti yogis express the devotional nature of their path in their every thought, word and deed – whether taking out the trash or calming the anger of a loved one. The life and work of Mother Teresa epitomizes the combination of the karma and bhakti yoga paths with her self-less devotion to serving others.

While it can be daunting to hold ourselves up to the image of Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi, the take home is worth the (non-judgmental) comparison.