Shame unravels are connection with others. It keeps us from sharing our pain and from hearing the suffering of others.  In a word, it isolates.

Practicing compassion allows us to hear shame. Empathy, the most powerful tool of compassion, is an emotional skill that allows us to respond to others in a meaningful, caring way. Likewise, when we share a difficult experience with someone and that person responds with an open heart we lift the silence and heal the pain of unbearable aloneness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0&feature=player_embedded

Bhakti yogis express the devotional nature of their path in their every thought, word and deed – whether taking out the trash or calming the anger of a loved one. The life and work of Mother Teresa epitomizes the combination of the karma and bhakti yoga paths with her self-less devotion to serving others.

While it can be daunting to hold ourselves up to the image of Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi, the take home is worth the (non-judgmental) comparison.

Feeling cared for, accepted and having a sense of belonging and affiliation with others is fundamental to our well-being. Unfortunately, not everyone was raised in such an environment.

Compassion-based therapy was developed to help those who have problems, especially around shame and self-criticism. Most people can logically understand the importance of caring. To feel it, experientially, requires the ability to access that give rise to feelings of safety and love.

Sometimes it’s hard to feel the caring presence of another. Compassion-focused, mindfulness-based therapy creates a safe container to explore the protective strategies that seal off the self from feelings of togetherness and connectedness.

May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you be in peace.

Continue reciting all the while you are holding that person in your heart. You can modify these phrases in any way that makes them true to your heart’s intention. After a few minutes, turn your compassion toward yourself and the measure of sorrows you carry. Recite the same phrases:

May I be held in compassion.
May my pain and sorrow be eased.
May I be at peace.

After a time, begin to extend compassion to others you know. Picture loved ones, one after another. Hold the image of each in your heart, be aware of that person’s difficulties, and wish him or her well with the same phrases.

Then you can open your compassion further, a step at a time, to the suffering of your friends, to your neighbors, to your community, to all who suffer, to difficult people, to your enemies, and finally to the brotherhood and sisterhood of all beings. Sense your tenderhearted connection with all life and its creatures.

Work with compassion practice intuitively. At times it may feel difficult, as though you might be overwhelmed by the pain. Remember, you are not trying to “fix” the pain of the world, only to hold it with a compassionate heart. As you practice again and again, relax and be gentle. Breathe. Let your breath and heart rest naturally, as a center of compassion in the midst of the world.

This excerpt from The Wise Heart was graciously reprinted with permission by the author Jack Kornfield.

Alan Wallace, a leading Western teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, puts it like this: “Imagine walking along a sidewalk with your arms full of groceries, and someone roughly bumps into you so that you fall and your groceries are strewn over the ground. As you rise up from the puddle of broken eggs and tomato juice, you are ready to shout out, ‘You idiot! What’s wrong with you? Are you blind?’ But just before you can catch your breath to speak, you see that the person who bumped into you is actually blind. He, too, is sprawled in the spilled groceries, and your anger vanishes in an instant, to be replaced by sympathetic concern: ‘Are you hurt? Can I help you up?’ Our situation is like that. When we clearly realize that the source of disharmony and misery in the world is ignorance, we can open the door of wisdom and compassion.”

Compassion is the quivering of the heart in the face of pain.  It is the capacity to see our struggles with kindly eyes.  The courageous heart is the one that is unafraid to open to the world.  With compassion we come to trust our capacity to open to life without armoring.

Jack Kornfield says: “Yes, the world is full of pain, uncertainty, and injustice.  But in this vulnerable human life, every loss is an opportunity either to shut out the world or to stand up with dignity and let the heart respond.”

This excerpt from The Wise Heart was graciously reprinted with permission by the author Jack Kornfield.

PRACTICE: SEEING THE INNER NOBILITY AND BEAUTY OF ALL BEINGS
Pick a day when you awaken in a fine mood, when your heart is open to the world. Set the clear intention that you will look for the inner nobility of three people. Carry that intention in your heart as you interact with them.  As you become more naturally able to see the secret goodness, expand your practice from daily to weekly to monthy.

This excerpt from The Wise Heart was graciously reprinted with permission by the author Jack Kornfield.