Kerry Ogden, M.A. » suffering

Pain is a Part of Happiness

Kerry — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:20:43 +0000

Happiness demands that we confront negative feelings head-on, without letting them overwhelm. Real life is full of disappointments, loss and inconveniences. To live a rich and meaningful life, we must allow ourselves a full range of emotions. Otherwise life is just a struggle against reality. Negative states are as important as positive, they help cue us into what we value and what we need to change. Grief for a loved one reminds us how much we cherish our relationships. Frustration with several jobs in a row is a sign we’re in the wrong career. Without the contrast of darkness, there is no light.

Four Noble Truths

Kerry — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 15:41:43 +0000

When the Buddha teaches that there is a way out of suffering, clearly he does not mean that there is a way to escape pain. Pain per se cannot be avoided. But pain does not have to become suffering. Pain comes and goes in life. But that is not yet suffering. Suffering is the product of the pain and our resistance to it. The more we tighten up against pain, the more we suffer. The more we ease up and open out to the pain, softening to it, allowing and experiencing it, the less we suffer.

Buddhism offers a simple summary and consequent solution to human existence, referred to as The Four Noble Truths:
1. Suffering is.
2. Suffering has a cause.
3. Suffering can be stopped.
4. There is a way to live that prevents suffering. (Yay!)

The way out of this cycle of suffering is the eightfold path. More on that later.

Suffering

Kerry — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:27:34 +0000

“Suffering requires us to descend into ourselves. As there is no other way out, we are obliged to call on the power of the soul and the spirit. When we succeed in doing so, instead of groaning and crying out in rebellion, we exhale a delicate perfume.” – Omraam Mikael Aivanhov

Reaching Out

Kerry — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:27:55 +0000

Pain is full of information about what is wrong and what is needed. Staying with pain can be a powerful tool. By alleviating it too quickly, the chance to study the underlying core beliefs is lost and old patterns go unchanged.

All of us avoid contact with discomfort by creating noise in the form of distractions and diversions. By focusing elsewhere, we’re able to temporarily turn the volume down on painful feelings. There is no shame in this. It’s a self-protective function.

It takes courage and heart to face pain. During difficult times, these qualities can be a challenge to find. In such cases, it is not unusual to borrow another’s compassion until we are able to resource it within ourselves. Therapy is good example of this type of “borrowing”, as is reaching out to a friend for comfort.

Sitting with Despair

Kerry — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:15:34 +0000

There is strength and meaning to be gained in sitting with suffering. All too often, we lose the ability to turn compassionately toward ourselves in difficult moments. When we are able to do so in the presence of a compassionate other, as in therapy, we remember how to love ourselves.

By unflinchingly holding company and deeply empathizing with our pain, this “other” broadens our being by helping us make contact with the hidden resources of our jeweled Self. It requires nothing short of a leap of faith that we are larger than our pain…which we are.