The beauty of the 3-to-1 positivity ratio is that it’s large enough to encompass the full range of human emotions. That’s the good news.
Love is the micro-moment of warmth and connection that you share with another living being. It’s deeply wired and blossoms virtually anytime two or more people, even strangers, connect over a shared positive emotion – be it mild or strong.
Exploring how kindness and appreciation flow back and forth in couples, Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D, examined how people habitually express appreciation to their partners. Turns out some people say “thanks” better than others.
We are wired for connection. It’s in our biology. The infant comes into the world with needs and getting the needs met is the source of survival. As we grow older, our needs for connection naturally become more sophisticated but the need remains the same.
The best piece of advice to come out of the field of positive psychology is to make strong personal relationships your priority. Good relationships are buffers against the damaging effects of all of life’s inevitable letdowns and setbacks.
I cannot recommend this amazing lecture by Brené Brown enough. Weaving humor, insight and compassion she speaks bravely about the power of vulnerability.